Why Empaths Need to Stop Setting Up Boundaries

There is a wealth of information out there for people who are new to the empath world.  No one is really "new" to the world of being deeply sensitive, but so many people out there are realizing that there is a name for their abilities, and there are others out there like them and that they can begin to come out of their shell and live in light instead of fear.  

For my lovelies who have been there for a while now, but are stuck in the revolving door of internet content and quizzes that help you identify whether or not you're an empath, I want to take things to the next level.  

There is kind of a standard response to "help, I'm an empath and I don't know what the fuck it means" and that is to describe an empaths' abilities, help someone see where they fit in the mix, then teach them about boundary setting and grounding.  That is basically level 1.  Don't get me wrong, level 1 is super important, but we have to revisit the idea of boundaries because the idea of blocking things out and retaining your own personal energy is an idea that is based in fear, and will not be an effective long-term tool.  The ultimate goal is to open yourself up, live in a higher energetic vibration, and be discerning about what you let sit with you, and what you choose to let pass by you.  I'm not saying this flippantly like "oh just let yourself be wide open and let everything in."  There is work to be done before you can get to this place, but that is the end goal.  

When we set up energetic boundaries, we are also setting up physical boundaries.  If it is in our mind and our energy, it is in our physical body too.  Our muscles react to our thoughts, and therefore, if I say to myself "I'm blocking negative energy." my body tenses up in reaction to that command.  Body tension leads to all kinds of somatic issues like headaches, body aches, hypertension, hypervigilance and the list goes on.  A far better practice for the long term is to focus on how we set boundaries with the people around us, and let that inform what we allow in energetically.  

If one morning I meditate and set up big strong energetic boundaries so that I keep the negative out, and then I go to work and allow my co-workers to walk all over me, I am giving the universe mixed signals.  I'm saying "I'm a badass sometimes, but when people need something from me, I may as well have set up walls made of Jell-o".   For us on this plane, it is understandable how we can choose to be strong in one situation and not the other, but on an energetic plane, there is no difference between energies.  

Here's what you can do about it:

1.  Lift your vibration:  Imagine you are in a hot air balloon on the ground under dense clouds of pollution.  With each breath, you begin to float, and within 5 deep breaths, you have risen above the clouds, and are in the fresh crisp air and bathed in sunshine.  You are now out of the low muddy vibration, and up into the vibration of safety and love.  

That was easy :)

2.  Repeat after me:  "I live in the vibration of love, I live in the vibration of love, I live in the vibration of love..." continue saying that until you feel the subtle shift out of negative feelings, and into a lighter, more positive emotion.

3.  Begin to focus on being assertive and setting boundaries with the people in your life.  Being assertive is not the same as being aggressive.  Being assertive can be as simple as saying "no thank you".  Think about the things you have gotten wrapped in to, the committees, the projects, the dinner parties etc.  Think of anything that does not resonate with your soul, and feel good.  Those are the things we have to start saying "no" to.  There are some things that we have to do ie. parent-teacher conferences, but we do not have to take every volunteer position or make costumes for every kindergarten performance.  

4.  Connect with Lindsay and I.  Check out our website intuitiflow.com, to see where we are speaking, and what classes and services we have to offer or email us info@intuitiflow.com.  

Many empaths have spent their life learning that there is something weird, different, or wrong with them.  You may have been a medicalized child and spent a lot of time with undiagnosed rashes and illnesses.  Parents probably made up rationalizations for your claircognizance, or called the angel you were talking to an "imaginary friend".  When the people around us say things like "stop telling people that you see their dead relatives" or "that was just a coincidence", you begin to internalize that information and you set up boundaries from a young age.  You have been setting up boundaries your entire life.  This is important so I'll say it again:  YOU HAVE BEEN SETTING UP BOUNDARIES YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. 

You blocked out your angels, you blocked out your guides, you second guess your intuition and you tell yourself you're not actually hearing, seeing, knowing and feeling the things that you are hearing, seeing, knowing and feeling.  So no, I'm not going to tell you how to set up MORE boundaries, from my experience, the more effective approach is to learn, ask for guidance, fall deeply into the trust and love of Source, God, Goddess, whatever you choose to call it.  Choose to vibrate in love and choose to pull your vibration out of fear, mud, and pollution, and choose to vibrate on a level where you are honoring your gifts and living in safety and light, rather than fear and darkness.  

For those of you who want more guidance and information on how to raise your vibration and leave fear in the past, I HIGHLY recommend The Book of Love and Creation by Paul Selig and no, I don't get any money from referring you to this book, I'm doing it because I love you and I want you to grow in ways that will bring you joy, and bring joy to our universe.  We need it.

Bree & Linds